In the previous two blogs, we discussed the importance of mentoring and its difference with other fields like counseling, coaching, and discipling. Considering that we are either mentee or mentor or both in a given time in our life, it is wise to be informed and make conscious choices so that we may benefit out of it. In this blog, I will discuss a few golden rules for the 21st C Mentors:

1. Create an atmosphere of partnership. 
 
If we closely notice, there is a major shift between leader-followers relationship. In their book entitled “The leader in you” Levine and Crom indicated that the days managers’ orders mindlessly obeyed are gone. They believed that there should be cultural change to survive in the years to come, and suggested that this takes a whole new breed of leader, a leader quite unlike the bosses most of us have worked for and some of us have perhaps become. These new breed leaders will have to communicate and motivate far more effectively than did leaders of the past. This cultural change should also influence the mentor-mentees relationship. The 21st C Mentors should be different than their predecessors. Mentors cannot achieve their mentoring goals if they depend on orders and act like bosses. They should build an atmosphere of partnership.

2. Empower your mentee.
 
Empowerment takes the mentor to give his mentees all it takes to make them better for the thing they are passionate about. Dr. Winston of Regent University said that the role of a mentor is to figure out what the mentee wants to do and help him become better on that. I have been struggling with this grand golden rule. The first thing that comes into my mind towards my mentees was that I know what is best for them. Of course, the motive is right and genuine but it is not about me taking stand for them. I should first ask what they want and help them become better on that. It is about empowering than dictating or discipling.

3. Make the mentee independent.

The tendency of many of us is to make sure the mentees remain dependent on us. In most part, this may be because we think that we are the best teachers for them. However, this denies the very nature of mentoring, which is helping the mentee to be better in what he wants to become. Donald Trump, in his book entitled “Think Like a Billionaire” wrote that a mentor’s job is to teach someone [mentee] to be independent and to learn to think that way as well.

4. Create a trust-filled environment.

Chip Bell, in his book “Managers as Mentors”, emphasized that trust is a crucial commodity throughout the mentoring relationship. He also said that a trust-full partnership is one in which error is accepted as a necessary step on the path from novice to master. In order the mentee to open up, take risk, ask, challenge, and so on, which are critical for the mentoring process, the mentor should create a trust-filled environment.

5. Appreciate your mentee.

Michael Jackson was looking for his father’s/mentor’s appreciation. From the interviews given by his closest friends following his premature and sudden-death, he was in desperate need of appreciation from his father even if he had millions of fans. They noted that Michael usually comes back from great performances and seat in his hotel and ask "where is dad"? The adoration of his fans was not enough; he wanted to get affirmation from his mentor. However, his father was always telling him, "you can do better than this". Unintentional in most part, many mentors push harder on their mentees for their own sake so that they may achieve better. However, there is one human nature, that is, we need appreciation. The great psychologist William James noted that the deepest craving of humans is the need to be appreciated. Though mentors should stretch their mentees, there should always be a sense of genuine appreciation for the little achievements mentees score.

There are many more golden rules for mentors but let’s stop it here. In the coming blog, I will discuss some of the golden rules mentees should follow to maximize from the mentoring relationship. Remain tuned!