It maybe very easy to differentiate mentoring from its other siblings like coaching and counseling but there seem some confusion between mentoring and discipling. It looks like, for both mentees/disciples and mentors/disciplers, the line between the two appears to be blurred. Though it maybe unintentional, in most cases, the two parties fail to make sure the delicate line is walked carefully. Term wise, most people are prone to use them interchangeably. In some cases, discipling is exclusively understood within religious context and many people are not enjoying its benefits in the work places and else where.  

Let’s make a couple of points to clarify the main differences between mentoring, coaching, and counseling before we discuss our main topic. Unlike training (which is mostly designed for groups) mentoring, coaching, and counseling share the same approach, that is, they are mostly crafted and customized to meet individual needs and concerns. However, their goals are very different.

Conventionally, counseling targets to resolve an issue or problem while coaching is aimed at improving a particular skill. Simply put, counseling may end its mission if the issue comes to a normal state or if status quo is maintained while coaching may persist until the new height is met whether that new height is getting the next raise or promotion or championship. On the other hand, mentoring is designed to empower the mentee by ways of altering his thinking process through well crafted questions, feedbacks, and challenges in a friendly and two-way relationship backed-up by trust. Mentoring bond may linger a life time as far as the two parties believe that the process should carry on that far.

What do you want: mentoring or discipling? Experts say that mentoring is mentee-centric while discipling is discipler-centric. Whether you are a leader or a follower, answering this question at the very early stage of the relationship is critical if your desire is to make the most out of the relationship. In this blog, we will try our best to show you the main differences, which in turn may help you make conscious decision whenever you are confronted to choose between the two.

Do you remember Jesus and His disciples?! Jesus picked 12 men and invested on them to look like Him and propagate His mission. From the disciples’ side, not only they dropped off their profession and abandoned their previous plans for their life, they denied themselves and their aspiration in life and lived for Jesus’ cause. Of course, not all discipling may follow the same model and pattern. In some cases, there may be partial or temporal discipling arrangements as per the choice of both parties and depending upon the circumstances at hand.

There is also a possibility that some one may disciple himself after someone he appreciates at his work place, church, or school even without the knowledge of the person. In such cases, the disciple mayn’t totally abandon his vision and copy the virtual discipler but he may adopt some of his styles or characters, or approaches. There could be also many variants of discipling depending upon the objective condition someone may find himself. The most important factor is that discipling is making someone to look like the other unlike mentoring, which is an arrangement where the mentee is mentored to become a better person in the area he wants to excel without the need to drop off his vision and copying his mentor.

If you are a leader and looking for people who buy into your vision and lend a hand to carryout the vision, you may opt discipling. If you are a leader and looking for people who have their own vision but you want to be of assistance for them achieving their vision, you probably prefer to mentor them by following the golden rules of mentoring, which we will discuss in depth and in the coming blogs. By the same token, if you are looking for someone who will empower you to become what you aspire in life; you may look to someone who helps you to become better on that thing. If you are looking to follow someone, then you may need to drop or align your vision with his and commit yourself to pursue the vision and goals of your discipler.

In both cases, from both parties, it takes to take adequate time to reflect on the kind of relationship they should pursue before they commit themselves for either of the relationships. They should know that it takes honesty, accountability, and responsibility to opt between the two and demands to live up to its expectations. We will continue to discuss more details about mentoring and how the two parties could make it a win-win relationship.

Remain tune!